When Jimmy over at Grass Clippings told me that I had made the short list of invitees to the 2021 Grass Clippings Open, I was naturally ecstatic. I quickly accepted the invitation and even though the field was loaded with top level Scottsdale golf talent, my sights were immediately focused on imminent victory.
I needed a partner for the party and I reflexively went with local Scottsdale stallion, Steven Tinoco. Some people like to call him Mr Paige Spiranac due to his wildly popular better half, but I prefer “Swingin’ Steve” as an ode to his previous career as a baseball professional and his top tier clubhead speed.
Unfortunately, the Grass Clippings Open is no small deal and there are a number of professional scouts that do a deep and vigorous analysis on the teams that have qualified for the tournament.
Steven and I officially renounced the prediction to the left and made it our #1 priority to make Mr Dobson look like a fool.
Swingin’ Steve does his thing.
The 2021 Grass Clippings Open was going to be hosted at Mountain Shadows Resort in Scottsdale, AZ. 54 teams of 2 would meet in a duel under the Arizona sun over the course of two days. But before we can truly understand the spirit of the 2021 Grass Clippings Open we must understand where it comes from. After some research, I found that the tournament origin is 4 pronged.
Grass Clippings is a rad name. Staying Grassy is the game.
Local greenskeepers are the silent heroes of our sport.
These silent heroes must be celebrated.
No exclusivities. A grinder, 2 day, 2 person scramble at a par 3 course. No strokes.
The event starts out with a local qualifying round and a Thursday evening Calcutta. Only the finest and most elite golfers will be allowed to enter into official competition and onto the grounds of Mountain Shadows Resort during tournament time.
Mountain Shadows resort is cleverly situated in the shadows of Camelback Mountain with 18 fun and glorious par 3’s awaiting golfers.
As predicted in the Dobson Report, we started off slow with concerns in all areas of the game. A holed out bunker shot sparked excitement and lead to a string of birdies, but the gusto fizzled out down the stretch. After the final putt was holed on day 1, Koenig and Tinoco found themselves at -3 and T24. The lead was at a sizzling -13.
Ten shots back with only 1 day of competition remaining would force our team to re evaluate our priorities and set our sights on simply making the exemption list for the 2022 Grass Clippings Open. With the top 30 and ties making the cut, this appeared very possible, despite what that Billy Dobson clown had to say.
But before that could happen, we turned our attention towards making an ace at the True Spec Golf Hole in One Shootout. Sadly, Both Steven and I would come closer to hitting spectators than hitting the flag stick. We took it as a positiver sign that we almost hit “something” that day and decided to use it as a confidence booster. DJ Drew stole the show with the Instagram post below.
As day 2 began to unfold, it was overwhelmingly clear that our putters did not heat up overnight. In fact, Stephen and I’s flat sticks were ice freaking cold. The 6 footers lipped out, the 7 footers sailed wide left, and the 15 footers barely even sniffed the edge.
The good news is that even when you can’t buy a birdie, it’s tough to get down on yourself as the Grass Clippings Party is always rocking. There was a live band on #12 and “Shorties” cannabis supplies right next to the Advil on #10 tee box. Stay Grassy is the mantra, but it’s also a state of mind at the Grass Clippings Open.
Erin McClure hits one on #4 to 10 feet.
Stephen reacts to a quality 4 foot stuff job, we would both miss the putt.
Stay Grassy, my friends.
Jimmy resides over the Grass Clippings’ proceedings with a meticulous eye.
There was only one thing left to do in order to silence all of the haters…. Make the mother freaking cut line! With a premium exemption into the 2022 Grass Clippings Open, the stakes couldn’t have been much higher. Early rumors and reports had the cut line coming in at -1 while others claimed that -3 was gonna be necessary in order to see the starting line in 2022. Unfortunately, Stephen and I had been stuck at -2 for what felt like the entire day.
With one hole remaining, it was clear that we needed a birdie 2 on the scorecard in order to bring tremendous shame onto Billy Dobson and the Dobson Report. A T30 after an early projection of 41-45 would clearly put that Dobson fella in the poor house.
Swingin’ Steven sensed that his moment had finally arrived. He approached the tee and calmly stuffed one to 10 feet. After some serious shit talking, Steve proceeded to roll in a 10 footer like he hadn’t missed one in 5 years. The crowd erupted with raucous applause and glory was ours. Suck on that one, old man Dobson!!
The crowd for the notorious 10 footer to make the cut consisted entirely of this rowdy crew.
The post tournament proceedings unfolded on the 1st fairway of Mountain Shadows and the championship duo of Hoops and Marshall accepted their championship belts with pride. The scorching mark of -20 for 36 holes of golf set a new Grass Clippings Open scoring record.
Kristoffer Marshall raises his championship belt. Bryan Hoops, off screen left, may have lifted the team to victory, but struggled to lift the belt with matching gusto.
The wives and girlfriends, or WAGs, came out in full force to support the 2021 Grass Clippings Open.
Everyone in town was looking their best as the field and fans celebrated a wildly successful weekend. The drinks flowed freely and the one man band rocked hard. Not only is this tournament filled with great players, but it is also filled with good, fun seeking individuals. As the talent level raises in most tournaments, the fun level usually dips dramatically. However, the Grass Clippings Open manages to deliver a fun and talent level that are both exceptionally profound. This tournament is in a class of it’s own.
Black and white outside.
Color inside.
Not only is Grass Clippings one hell of a tournament but it’s also a happening new golf store on Campbell Ave in Phoenix. Do yourself a favor and check yourself before you wreck yourself and check it out. The shop features some exceptional pjkoenig photography focused specifically on the Scottsdale golf scene.
Until next time, Stay Grassy, my friends.