People love short things. The shorter the better. As a wise man of 46 years, I am finally ready to release my official short list. Here are my Top 10 favorite things are that are short.
#10: The Fairway: You pump one down the middle of the fairway and look over to your caddy for confirmation. “On yeah, that one is in the short stuff.” Smiles all around. A good drive in the middle of the fairway sets you up for success in golf and life.
#9: Stories. Nobody likes to hear Steve go on and on about how his in-laws just wouldn’t leave last weekend. “Yo, wrap it up, Steve.” Nobody wants to hear about how you got up and down for bogey on the 12th hole, either. Dave Chappelle agrees with me.
#8: Golf Pencils. When was the last time you used a full sized pencil and were like “Man, this is nice.” That’s right… it was 3rd grade. Full sized pencils no longer have the satisfaction they once did. When was the last time you used a short-sized golf pencil and said, “Man, this is nice”? The answer is always.
#7: The Short Red Light. In general, red lights suck. We want our day to be filled with green lights and empty streets. This is precisely why the short red light has made the list. The only thing better than a green light is a red light that barely makes an impact. Everyone loves the feeling of a red light turning green long before you expected it to. That is the good short stuff.
#6: A Nap. The elusive nature of the short nap is what makes it so highly coveted. Many have tried and overshot, only to end up groggy. Many others have tried, without even a wink. For those that pull of the feat, the resulting feeling of freshness is truly glorious.
#5: Too $hort. That is correct, I am talking about the Oakland based rapper Todd Anthony Shaw. Well known for hit songs like “All My Bitches are Gone” and his ability to rhyme the word “bitch” with “shit”, Too $hort is a well known bay area baller. So if you ever see $hort rollin' in his drop top Caddy, be sure to throw a peace sign and say 'Hey, pimp daddy!'
#4: Toddlers. I am talking about young children that have not grown tall yet. They say the most ridiculous things and walk around all cute and adorable. While they are a pain in the ass to chase around the house, toddlers remain undefeated.
#3: Pre-shot Routine. Let’s keep it brief, people. Line it up, step into the shot. waggle the club, look at the target and pull the freaking trigger. You can do it in 15 seconds like Ludvig Aberg. It should not be a highly repetitive sequence of rhythmic foot wiggles and club waggles. We do not need a full series of hovering and regripping, mixed simultaneously with a myriad of foot shuffles, intertwined with continuous micro-adjustments to the grip. Even though Patrick Cantlay needs 2 minutes and 22-26 foot calibrations before striking a golf ball, your friends will appreciate your short pre-shot routine.
#2: Ebenezer Place. This is the shortest street in the entire world. Located in Caithness, Scotland, Ebenezer Place measures just 6 feet, 9 inches long. More importantly it is only a 1 hour drive from Ebenezer Place to Brora Golf Links.
#1: Golfish Shorts. Finally we have arrived at the best short thing in the world, shorts from Golfish Apparel. Yacht shorts, Whippany Board Shorts and Linksman Shorts are just the beginning. Just like all of the items in the Golfish lineup, these shorts are made to transition seamlessly from the golf course to the marina.
For several years, I have been enjoying the polos from Golfish so I was super excited when they decided to get into the shorts game as well. The results have been fantastic. The shorts fit great, look great and inspire the confidence needed to play my best.
Linksman Shorts
Yacht Shorts
Board Shorts